The Nurturing Spirit

I feel like I’m relishing in a guilty pleasure today as it was my last chemo treatment. Originally we were to do one more, but the doctor said she was comfortable with this decision-so I’m enjoying the moment!I know its just in my head-but I swear I felt better mentally as soon as I left the Breast Cancer Institute. Those nurses and doctors are top notch-there aren’t enough adjectives to describe what they do-but I still did not mind walking out of that door today. In addition, I found out that I don’t have to begin radiation treatments until after the studio opens-so I feel lucky about that, as well. The depression that I’ve been feeling is supposedly normal, and the doc says I will soon be back to myself. I think the depression and just plain inertia has been hard for me to handle and deal with. The hair thing-of course, was initially shocking and sad, but its the depression and tiredness that has lingered and that has me worried. I’ve always been a high energy, task-oriented person, and these bouts of depression make me wonder if I’ll ever be the same as before. I hope and wish that today’s mental and psychological boost stays with me and helps me get back to the person I was before. Although I know that I will always be changed by this experience, I want and pray that the ‘old’ me shows up soon!

Thanks for coming on this journey with me, and I appreciate any comments and feedback that is offered.

Michelle

This past weekend I had a booth at the Pagan Picnic for my first real promotion of The Nurturing Spirit. I’m sure I overdid it, as the heat and the hours were kicking my butt! This was not an endeavor I took on alone, though. I had offers of help from friends a month ago-and true to their word-they were there every step. One friend stayed at the house to help me organize all my product to take; another friend had to work Saturday, and then came to the booth to help out. Two other friends came to the booth on Sunday, during the hottest part of the day, to watch the booth so I could go to my grandson’s first birthday party. And instead of rushing off when I got back to the booth-they stayed to help take stuff down and carry it to the car. While I was working the booth, I spoke with many individuals about my cancer diagnosis and the chemo treatments. I was given love, prayers, healing crystals and even a St. Michael’s medal to keep. These strangers did not owe me anything-they just wanted to share their love and healing thoughts with me- a total stranger. So, on those days when I feel low, I hope to look back at this weekend and count my blessings for the kindness of friends and the kindness of strangers.

I’ve heard this term a few times now. At first, I thought it was a cliche’, but I’ve been pulling some stunts that make me now think otherwise. I fill up my gas tank once a week, yet yesterday-I seemed to have forgotten which side of the car the gas tank is on! I had to pull out of the stall and turn around to get it right! I’m participating in the Pagan Picnic this weekend, and wanted to have plenty of herbal, blessed andles on hand. Kept wondering where they were-until I realized I didn’t even order them!!! Running to the grocery store is no longer done once a week-I have to go three or four times because I keep forgetting what I need!While this is certainly not the end of the world, it is interesting to me that a cancer treatment could turn a brain to mush! Add to that fact that I’m almost 44, and its a wonder I can remember what day it is. (and even that is up for debate!!!) I guess a notebook with a things to do list is the next order of business for me-that is if I can rememebr to buy one!